Quick Writing #14 (For him)
Well what can I say? I’ve lost you. With hopes that you’ll somehow find your way back, I mourn over what could have been. The friendship that could’ve turned to something much more if I hadn’t treated it as nothing. Although, I was sure it had the potential to be something. I’ve learned that I can be too dependant on my feelings rather than thinking of what would actually benefit me in the long run. One of the worst decisions I’ve made was disrupting and exiting a genuine friendship for a brand new relationship that after almost 3 weeks, doesn’t even seem to be successful. But ofcourse, as naive as I am, I never allowed myself to realize how the impact of a broken heart could effect so much.
“I’ve looked through and have yet to find a word in the dictionary to fully explain my exact emotion right now. A combination of all except happiness.”
That is exactly right. The emotion I felt, or shall I say, the emotion I’m still feeling is indescribable. It could be karma. Or just the obvious aftermath my mind has been awakened by. At this point, the most that this situation will allow me to do is apologize and hope that you apprehend every aspect of this. So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for upsetting you. I’m sorry if I ever left you heart broken. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to make you believe I wasn’t interested in you. And may I say, I was never the girl to unabashedly pick up the broken pieces one by one. The type of patience that process takes has always been nonexistent within me due to my pride. But I’m willing to do that for us. I willing to start over with a new beginning. But I can’t do that..because I’m almost completely sure that you’ve already moved on. You’ve found another one. The only thing I wish I could be positive about is us. I don’t want it to be over. Not so soon..